Interviewing for solutions, 3 edition (by Peter De Jong and Insoo Kim Berg, 2008) is a book that we used to find new technics when interviewing, especially when it's about tricky questions, and with help from these technics go from the ordinary "focusing on the problem" to instead "focusing on the solution" or building solutions. The practitioner will just help or lead the client so him/herself find the solution and his/her inner power to deal with the problem.
The example here, is a personal story, but the dialog I just made up in the paper. The practitioner try to help Anna to find her inner strengths. So its a dubble up. We will try to, with the inner strenghts, find the inner strenghts.
Practitioners;-Why are you here?
Anna; - I was asked the other day, what my inner strengths are, and I just laughed and could not think of anything. I felt very embarressed, like if I do not have any inner strengths. And I try to understand why it's so hard to think of my inner strenghts.
- I can imagine that you felt embarrassed, maybe that's why you laugh?
But it is a difficult question. What did you think was the worst in this situation?
- Yes, that's right, difficult question. Thank you for your understanding. The worst was the other three people there who were asked later, all three listens to the conversation.. There were two persons who was interviewing and they just asked if I might have that or that personality or if I could imagine the same question in a job interview.
-How did you feel then?
- Very stessed, blocked. I thought that was why I laughed. And then I felt even more embarrassed.
- If I ask you now, what your inner strengts are, what would you like to be different in the situation of the time?
- Hm. I havn't thought about my inner strengths so much. so I think that if there are no other people here is a good start. So I can be calm. And I would like you to take it easy and let me find it by myself. But with a little help in any way.
- Your inner strengths... Was it in a special subject matter or just how you are as a person?
- I personally, when I search for a job, for example. As "which inner strengths do you have, that can help you to get the job."
- Do you think it is a stupid question?
- Stupid? Not at all, I think it is very interesting. I just think I'm too stupid to have a job. I do not even know what my strengths are..
- If you go to another situation that you know about, and look at your strengths in that situation instead. What can we find? Give me three situations where you feel safe? And we will look at them instead.
- Hmm, I do not know.
- What are you doing in your life? What do you think is fun?
- Cooking ..
Ride.
When I sit on the train I am very calm
I like to travel, explore new cities.
- There you have three situations! Good. Why do you like to cook?
- Because I'm good at it. Fun, to cook for other people. Since I am a vegan, they seem to be surprised to see me cook this delicious food. Some of them think vegan food is boring.
- How does it feel to talk about it in this way?
- Pretty selfish. I don't like it.
- Tell me about riding (horses). Why do you like it?
- When you have a 'good' horse, you will become one with it. I like being outdoors, exercising, be into the weather, feel the muscles and movements of the horse.
- Alone or with others?
- Could be both. It's just a feeling. It's there anyway.
- And if you have a 'bad' horse?
- Then I get very insecure and think I need to practice more. And more specifically, I do not want to be with others when it happens. I want to be alone and practice / fix / control the situation.
- And what can you tell about the trip, travelling?
- I travel a lot. Not necassary abroad, but between cities. I like to move. See new things. Explore. I can really enjoy a train journey. Feel the journey through time and space.
- How do you like to fly?
- No, I became very confused. You have to wait so much and then you have no idea where you are.
-Maps?
- Yes.. But still, is the airport outside the city and you must go there and then there is certainly no map. You will only take the bus / taxi to the airport.
- Anna. I think everything you said has a meaning. Do you think so? Can you see any kind of pattern in this story?
- Yes..
First of all, I think it is very difficult to talk about things I like, I feel most like I'm only trying to say how good I am in different situations. It seems that I want to have control around me. and that I feel a lot. And I find it hard to show others when I am not sure or secured about things, then I would rather be alone.
- Wow. Impressive. You just did an analysis of yourself. How do you feel?
- It's ok. But I can not see any strengths yet.
- We don't have time restrictions. The process here is very important. We will talk some more and it will come from nothing. Just focusing on the question we just talked about.
- Ok.
- Why do you think you chose those three things?
- Because I'm good at them.
I mean, uhm .. I like to cook, to ride and travel. And sometimes I feel very safe in these situations.
- Can you explain that feeling?- Perhaps a sense of belonging? I know something that other people like and appreciate. Perhaps it can be a strength? I like to have control and work with other people?
No ... I have never seen myself like that.
It is perhaps a sense of belonging? Be a part. An important element. Yes. I work very well when I get trusted and have expectations on me. It gives me energy. I want to be visible and important.
But.! It is the opposite of what I normally feel .. I do not understand.. And it might not even be strengths.
- It is good that you start to argue. We will return to it. Now I want you to go back to cooking.
- Ok.
- What in the process is the most fun? If you divide it from shoping to the table ....
Love it ;) KRAM!
ReplyDelete